Thursday Morning, 2:30 AM, 12ish hours until departure.

   Well, sometimes life goes as planned.  Sometimes it's a straight line that moves consistently and comfortably.  Other times, it zags.  Curves.  Goes up, down, does a loop.  Last night, my Bubbie died unexpectedly - replacing being excited and spending final hours with my family with feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and emotional.  Yet here I am.  In my living room.  Bags packed.  Clothes out for tomorrow morning.  Papers in order.  Thinking about what Bubbie would want.  Thinking about the journey I'm about to embark on.  Thinking about the many hours of thinking I have ahead of me.

    I wonder how these next few months will transform me as a person.  What will be the key things that I truly grow from.  What will incite that passion, drive, desire inside.  I also wonder what I'll truly begin to miss, appreciate, and crave from my life here.  What will I miss the most?  It's easy to say the food.  Or maybe it'll be the live music concerts.  Or maybe my family.  My stability.  My home.  Or maybe I'll miss nothing and just appreciate.  Just add to ME, gaining new perspectives and new lenses.

    Someone told me the other day that they admire me for my ability to jump without looking.  Which is exactly what this trip to Norway is.  I'm not sure if what I'm doing is by any means rational.  But I know I'm going to jump right in and turn opportunity into growth and knowledge.  I'll miss home.  I'll miss love.  I'll miss Bubbie.  I'll miss food, music, stability.  But I'll find new things to embrace.  New things to grasp.  New things to crave.  And I think Bubbie would be proud of me.  I think Bubbie is proud of me.  I think I'm proud of myself. 

 

I love you Bubbie.  I'll miss you always.  XOXO,

Jonathan